The Greatest Man I Ever Knew
Lynne Prescott, CCLS
During this month when we honor fathers, there are several men who have been role models, influencers, and mentors in my life. However, there is one man – – the one who raised me and is named on my birth certificate – – that I honor above all others.
When my mother left me at four years old, and my brother and sister (ages 2 and 6 months) because she “had her own life to live,” this is the man who voluntarily left a promising, rising military career to dedicate his life to raising three little children. When I say he dedicated his life to raising his children, it is no exaggeration. He went without so that we didn’t. He became a firefighter, working long hours and crazy shifts to provide for his family. All his career choices were made in consideration of his children and how it would affect our lives.
He emphasized the importance of graduating from high school, something he learned the hard way after dropping out and then going back. He didn’t drink or party with his buddies. He didn’t date until we were in high school. His life was focused on keeping a roof over our heads and putting food on the table. He later went to college and received his doctorate degree in religious studies and did eventually remarry.
When I was 45 years old, my mother confessed that this man whom I loved so much was not my birth father. I was devastated and all I wanted was to talk to my father. I called to tell him what my mother had just told me, and we decided to do DNA tests – – a sibling test for the three children, and a paternity test for my father. The DNA tests would bring more life-altering news. All three of us children were half-siblings, meaning we all had the same mother, but different fathers, and the most heartbreaking news of all was that my dad was not the biological father of any of the three children he had raised and sacrificed so much for.
Because the DNA test results were sent to me, it fell to me to tell my siblings and my father this news. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. When I told my dad that he had no biological children, he paused for a long time before he said these words that I will never forget:
“If I have to, I will adopt all of you, because I don’t want anyone, ever, to tell you that you are not mine.”
If there was a more perfect response by a man who had just been told that the children he thought he had fathered were not his, I can’t imagine what it would be, and I could not have loved, respected, or admired him more in that moment.
Because he was already named on all of our birth certificates as our father, he was already considered such in the eyes of the law and adoption was not necessary. The fact that he was still thinking of us rather than himself in that moment is beyond comprehension. He chose us over himself right from the start, and he kept choosing us.
To be loved like that is rare, and it is sometimes more than my heart can hold. He was the greatest man I ever knew.
Categorized in: General
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